


Dreams and Forgiveness

by Miss_Fallen



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Dreams, Even in dreams Steve doesn't put up with stupid shit, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, don't test him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28409157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Fallen/pseuds/Miss_Fallen
Summary: Bucky knows this room and that man, he just can't remember why.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, implied
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Dreams and Forgiveness

Bucky doesn’t know where he is. He doesn’t really know who  _ he _ is either, but that’s nothing new. What is new is the room he’s in, it looks dilapidated and like it shouldn't be lived in. But it’s also familiar in a way he can’t place. He knows the window needs to have a sheet shoved around the border to keep the chill out in the winter. He knows the chair only has three legs and the table is just plywood over a tub. He knows the oven doesn’t work but the stovetop does. He knows there’s only one bed but two people live (lived?) here. He knows all these small details about this place but he has no idea why. Did he live here? Somewhere like this would be condemned in current times. 

He hears a noise, turns, and freezes.

Bucky knows the person sitting at the table. The name is fuzzy right now, but Bucky recognizes him somehow. The skinny body with too-big hands and feet. The body without the strength needed to fit the fight in its heart. The  _ heart _ that doesn’t have enough strength for its fight. Lungs that don’t work right just like his ears and eyes. The man is as frail as they come, but he is much stronger than his body can support. Too much fight and heart and... and  _ love _ in a body too weak to ever hope to support it. Maybe that’s why he’s dying. Maybe that’s why the world gave him this body. The world isn’t ready to have someone like this person in it. The world is dark and cold where this man is warm and light. The world would snuff this man out in less than the blink of an eye. 

Bucky wants to protect him. He used to protect him. Why did he stop?

Memories rush back and leave him staggering where he stands. He looks up at the man drawing for the paper and tattoo shop, for the dockworkers and men going off to war. Drawing so much to bring in just a little bit of money so a younger Bucky, the Bucky who protected and supported him, can work and worry a little less. Steven Grant Rogers, who has always existed in a world far too dark for him. Who exists  _ in spite _ of it. Who fights and fights and fights to defend people who are bullied even as he’s bullied and beaten into the ground himself. Steve never learned how to stay down. He never will. The world bends itself to his will. He eventually gets a body that can support his fight and heart and  _ love _ . It’s the happiest and saddest memory Bucky thinks he has.

Steve looks up, “Hey Buck, how’d your day go?”

Bucky can’t speak. He takes halting steps towards Steve, the small man that bowed under nothing despite his body’s constant protests. Steve stands up and moves towards Bucky himself. When they meet, Steve takes Bucky to the floor (the cold floor Steve should never be on, he’ll get sick).

“That bad, huh? It’s alright, you did your best. People are bullies and sometimes they get the better of us. The key is to get back up no matter how long it takes to do that.”

Bucky moves back and leans down so his face is in Steve’s lap. His hand (just his flesh one, the metal one has done so much bad, caused so much pain, he can’t touch Steve with that one) comes to hold onto Steve’s thigh, but not too hard. Steve, for all his inner strength, is still bodily frail. But Steve seems to know what Bucky is thinking and takes the metal hand and puts it on his other thigh.

“Come on now Buck, you never were a fighter, just a protector. Make it your own, make it mean something else. Remember the past, but don’t let it rule you.” Steve puts his hands in Bucky’s hair and strokes it, gently pulling out the knots that have accumulated with Bucky’s neglect. “Time to get back Bucky, you can’t stay in the past forever. Own your present, be the protector again. I’m sure I’ll see you soon.”

The dream fades away as Bucky wakes in a tree in Jamaica, high off the ground. He feels wrung out but in the best way. He can feel dried tears on his cheeks and he wipes them away with his metal hand. Steve’s right, it’s time to make this thing his own. He’s been running from it for too long. It’s time to go home.

“There seems to be someone looking for Captain Rogers in your room.”

“Thanks, Jarvis, I’ll go check.” Steve thanks the quiet speaker on his phone and gets up to make his way to his room. He’s not quite sure why the AI would have made the announcement quiet, but he won’t draw attention to it yet. Jarvis is incredibly intuitive and thoughtful about handling any situation so Steve can trust his judgment.

He gets to his floor and looks about it for any changes. There aren’t any. So either this guy is really good, or Jarvis let him up secretly. But if Jarvis knows and didn’t raise an alarm, there probably isn’t much to worry about. 

When he gets to his room, he freezes. 

“Bucky.”

The man is sitting on his bed, legs pulled up to his chest. He looks so small and beaten, but there’s a strength there that wasn’t there before. The emptiness behind his eyes is gone.

“Hey Steve, I’m home.”

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this and my brain went 'do the thing' so I did the thing.
> 
> https://muffinshark.tumblr.com/post/625264970035331072/but-i-knew-him


End file.
